Experiencing A Break In Relationship

You ever notice how painful it is to lose someone you love? Do you wrestle with truly letting them go or being angry with the one who seemed to turn his/ her back on you? Sometimes the distance is there physically, but not emotionally.  Some part of our heart remains invested in the relationship…we dont want to let go…we dont want to lose hope of reconciling. I will say that with some relationships maybe the answer is to reconcile at some point, but here is where the challenge lies:  do you ever wonder if maybe that person was removed out of your life for a reason? Was it God who shut the door and it is us who  wrestles to keep the door open? Sometimes it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that what appears to be good is not in my best interest; therefore, God’s answer may be to shut the door. This is where my trust in Him comes into play.  Sometimes He says no…there’s always a reason, though we may not see it or understand it, ever.  But when His answer is no or let the door shut, it is always in OUR best interest. Dont fight to keep the door open in something that He has closed.

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Hatred

Hate is such a strong word, dont ya think? But for some of us, hatred is what lies beneath the surface…tucked somewhere in the foundation of who we are.  Many times I think something volatile has happened which wreaked havoc in our lives….something painful causing much brokeness. In turn we may have buried something explosive…not necessarily on purpose but maybe because the resources we so desperately needed were not available.  So we live…with explosive material infused into who we are.  Sometimes we keep trying to run away from it…dodge it…be done with it, but it does not go away.  I want to encourage you that even if the help that you desire is not anywhere on your horizon, seek out help.  And if it goes nowhere on your first, second, third attempt…keep seeking and dont give up because it is possible to live free of that buried hurt.  Give voice to your feelings…voice to your pain.  Keep at it and the million pounds of weight will begin to dissipate.

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THE Obstacle

Is there something in your life that has held, and continues to hold, you captive? I’m not talking about a minor event, but something significant that has taken place in your life whose ramifications dictate your present life? This is the thing that you push into a corner…set on a shelf…go around, under, over…trying to get past and yet the thing rears its ugly head at every inopportune time. I want to encourage you to deal with whatever it is head on.  This thing will not overtake you.  As you begin to follow God and His leading in your life pertaining to this thing it will progressively lose its power to hold you captive.  Dont give up in the process.  I really believe that with God’s help and direction that you can overcome ALL that has you bound.

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Your Story, Understood

Sometimes life is hard.  You ever just wish that there was someone who understands without you having to go into enormous detail…explaining the nooks and crannies of your life so they get you? It can be exhausting!  And yet there’s God who gets it…sees the entire picture…who gets you…in your entirety. No elaborate explainations needed…He just knows.  And He has a way of being so, so gentle.  There were…still are… times in my life where all I felt was anger without much around to remedy the anger I felt.  And in those tough moments I heard God…whispering to just me the things I so desperately needed to hear.  The hardness and anger started melting… He has a way with me…even in my anger. In your most desperate times and throughout the entire journey God is there and He understands you & your situations & circumstances completely.

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No More Hiding

It’s fascinating and a relief to know that I do not have to hide anything from God.  No masks needed.  No filters needed.  No pretending that everything is ok. I can be real with Him.  I can tell Him how I really feel, what I really think.  He knows my story in it’s entirety.  He knows why I feel the way I do and He accepts that I feel the way I do. I can share honestly.  He listens to me.  I can drop my defenses.  I can always be weak with God.  With Him I dont have to be the strong one. I encourage you, if you’re struggling, let God in.  He will be exactly what you need.

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Perception

You ever notice how if you took a picture, story, series of events, etc. and presented it to a group of people you may end up with a million interpretations of the same thing? Why? More than likely, perception.  There are many things that color our individual perceptions…emotions, experience, what we’ve been taught, etc. It’s really good to perceive reality accurately… but how? The more you let God work in your life the more you begin to see accurately.  God is the only one with perfect perception accuracy.  When we discern His voice accurately and allow Him to remove the baggage in us we will begin to see reality more clearly.

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Intimacy

Relationships, unfortunately, have been a source of turmoil and heartbreak in my life for a couple of different reasons.  I didn’t understand some things… It is wise to observe a person’s character and trustworthiness BEFORE you open up deeply and show them the deep parts of your heart.  You need to know that you can trust them.  Sometimes we can get desperate for anyone to listen that we choose the wrong type to avail ourselves to.  It is wise to have a healthy outlet of a person/people to listen.  It’s easy to start building an open level of intimacy without establishing some level of commitment…if you lay it all out there to a person, especially the opposite sex, it’s wise to have commitment there.  Our hearts are very valuable and shatter very easily.  When this happens it usually affects a good majority of our lives; therefore, we ought to guard our hearts and invest wisely. The time it takes to wait and observe is well worth it in the end. (This is not to say that any relationship will be perfect but it is good to be able to distinguish between healthy & unhealthy traits. And I will always agree that self reflection and commitment to personal growth is necessary in life in order to understand our affect on others and clarify our own perceptions of reality. In the end the only way we know what’s what is by listening to the voice of God.)

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Timing

There are some things that happen in life that are just plain difficult.  We dont understand them and yet our lives are put at a point of emotional turmoil.  We look at the situation and the end result makes no sense whatsoever.  We try as hard as we may to figure it out.  Where did I go wrong? How could this happen? I’ve been thinking about such situations.  In the Bible (Ecclesiates 3) it talks about timing.  There’s a time for this then a time for that.  For example a time to plant and a time to uproot what has been planted. I bring up timing because sometimes when things are not making sense it is because we are still trying to invest ourselves in what was happening in the last season.  The clock has changed to a new time but we are still attached to the previous step.  Sometimes we may have left it physically, but not emotionally and that’s why it’s hard to move on.  I think it is encouraging to remember that we have many more seasons out in FRONT of us.  That even though some steps may have been difficult and consumed us emotionally the good days are still ahead…and we’re going to get there.  It’s ok to let the past be the past…today we can redefine what our lives are all about.

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Embracing Loss

First a story… I had this landscaping tree that I loved planted in my yard…it had been there for awhile.  There was nothing spectacular about this tree…I just liked it.  Well, the harsh winter came this past year killing it’s root system.  I watched as it turned orange hoping the green would come back…it did not. My landlord uprooted it…leaving the ground bare for a bit.  Then he planted a new shrub…one that will take time to produce something of beauty. It reminded me of my life…the things which at one point were green, alive yet at some point died.  I suffered the loss.  And just as the dead tree had to be uprooted I understand that those dead things in my life must be pulled up by the roots.  While that causes pain, eventually new things will be planted in the soil of my life and though it may take time those things will eventually bring forth beauty.

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In Decision Making…Wait

Standing at the edge of a major decision haste will quicken within you…if you dont hurry right now and jump with two feet in, you will miss it…this chance will never come back around,  you will miss out, it says.  Yet  caution whispers slow…slowerrrr.  Fear, panic grips your heart..lending your eyes back and forth…go? wait? go?  Fear will be the thing that pushes you, nearing an edge that promises eventual danger though its immediate repercussion is not always obvious at first. Ive been there many times…jumping in with both feet because I allowed fear and immediate gratification to override wisdom.  In the end, every time my heart paid dearly.  I’ ve learned it to be wise to not be hasty…to instead linger, to wait…to learn to see clearly and protect my heart first.  Without these things devestation is close at hand.

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